So since my first round of chemo, ive had a few really crappy days, with barely any food being kept down followed by couple of good days feeling bit better each time! Feeling like ive been hit by a sledgehammer I guess is the only way to describe it! Either that or someone has genuinely taken a baseball bat to my joints this weekend!! One big rollercoaster this is going to be! Im now on a concoction of 15 tablets a day, including steroids and anti sickness tablets, plus two injections a day, one for my blood clotting the other for stimulating my white blood cells and immune system again. Chemo knocks your blood count really low, as the drugs can't distinguish between Cancer cells and good cells, they basically just wipe out as much as they can, therefore killing off my immune system too! So next few months, a normal two day cold will probably land me up in hospital attached back up to drips! So I'm currently avoiding germs and buggy people as far as I can! Im up most nights from about 2.30am onwards... Wide awake! Thinking, watching films, and having cravings for Muller Corner yoghurts! I can only put it down to pregnancy like cravings.... Nothing else will do! Just give me muller corners!! I'll do as the doc has asked me to.... Eat when I feel I want to.... Even if it is yoghurt at 4am!! Emotionally it's one mass rollercoaster at the minute. Getting frustrated with people who are be-moaning what seem like the most pointless of things. Everyone loves a good moan, but open your eyes, no matter what you do, where you are or anything else, if you've got loved ones, a roof, and food in your belly, there's so much more to life than bloody moaning! It's been a month since I was first diagnosed; I've had people run a country mile and never heard from again and I've had friends who don't invite me out socially, maybe it's because they can't handle it?! Who knows and tbh who cares anymore! But most importantly, I've found out who is going to stick around for this journey no matter what! And for those friends I cannot thank enough, already! The support you've given so far has been incredible, and one of the reasons why the smile will remain on my face! Great news came on Friday, I found out I had been selected as part of the medical team for Rio 2016 Olympics! This would be my second Olympics journey following London! At the minute, it's hard to get too excited over it, mostly down to the fact I'll still be on drugs treatment then, so having three weekly sessions to the chemo unit I may have to start trying to bribe the docs to extend my treatment sessions so I can escape to Rio for a few weeks! We shall see how that goes! So for now, I will return to my Muller Corners, onesies and Christmas films, and not worry about anything else! Wallow on my sofa for a few days more, ready for quarantine weekend away from all germs & bugs, and try and catch up on food and sleep eventually! It's the small things in life that put a smile on your face..... Why waste time worrying about the negatives when everyday is a positive. Whatever it is, put a smile on your face, pick yourself up and carry on! Xxx
1 Comment
Chris Cornford
11/30/2015 08:56:55 pm
You are just amazing.
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