So today's the day that I wave goodbye to another part of my female-ness & I become reliant on my freezer storage by receiving the first of my Goserelin injections....
Goserelin enforces the menopause, so although I'd come to terms with the fact that my fertility was pretty much certainly wiped out by the chemo, this makes it definite. And it's a pretty hard pill to accept. I hadn't really thought about it until last night, when emotionally drained, tired, and fed up, things started going through by pea of a brain. And all of a sudden bam, it's injection day again. So today I get my 9th Herceptin, and my Goserelin injections..... I bloody hope the latter don't sting as much as the first, else I genuinely feel sorry for the poor nurse having to give it. So I will then become completely reliant on the ovary slices currently sat in a freezer in Southampton for my future family hopefully. Those & IVF when it comes to it in a few years time. Which poses even further questions, drugs & issues.... but one way or another I will have kids!! This bastard disease can do one. It's hard to believe just a year ago I was about to start going through the various tests to see if I had cancer, confident, happy & not a care in the world, and now a year on, I'm infertile, scarred, have a free pass to a and e (😂😂), countless life saving drugs to take each day, and had my entire life tipped upside down! How a year can change someone eh. So in a year, I've had my femininity completely kiboshed. My boobs scarred, my fertility destroyed, & my hair taken..... I've never felt so totally useless as what I have done recently. It's hard to imagine someone who would actually be happy with this mess of a person anymore. However, there's no way of changing it, I'm still alive and hey crazy cat lady has a ring to it!! My brain is still completely fogged by chemo brain, and yes it's an actual medical condition, not just us post chemo guys making excuses!! The whole, you've gone into a room but you can't remember why you've gone in there, yea 100 times worse than that!! It happens all day, everyday, about all sorts of things!! Literally dreading going to the chemo suite today.... three injections.... im bad enough with one let alone two extras!! But roll on the bruises, the 'short sharp scratches', and the urge to punch the poor girl having to do it to me! Next phase of my life being enforced on me Xxx
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1/27/2017 10:13:18 pm
Substance abuse issues are traditionally not a single, isolated instance of dependency or addiction. They are usually triggered by other long-term emotional or psychological problems. When a patient enters into a drug rehab facility, they should have access to a team of professionals who knows how to address dual or multiple disorders to allow the patient complete recovery of the drug addiction and dual disorders.
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February 2017
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