A few weeks since my last update as life has taken over recently!
Ive seen haematology, who were going to refer on for advice to some other specialist to find out if I could finally come off Clexane injections and head onto a tablet form. It's also been discovered that I have inherited a blood clotting disorder, Factor 5 Leidon, long story short it makes me more prone to clotting. They say it's inherited, thanks mum 😂👍!! So another little hurdle this year has thrown at me!! So radiotherapy went without an issue, a few minor blips but nothing major. The radiologists over in Southampton were fab, although slightly too much personal space interference (they had to get up close and personal to line up my tattoos with their lasers!) but all in all, all the teams I came across were lovely and supportive. I had a melt down on one of my last rad sessions, they were running late, I was fed up, and tears started rolling during my radiation time, so when the team came back in they were all a bit shocked etc. But hugs and chocolate was prescribed and I chilled out a bit! The accumulation of everything finishing I guess must have gotten on top of me and I was at a low point. Rads finished on the Tuesday morning, and I was due to go to Amsterdam Tuesday night..... Another minor blip, I couldn't go. Medically I was fine, emotionally/psychologically I wasn't. Cue.... Massive melt down in London before returning home and being at one my lowest points of all time. A nights sleep and a flight ticket later, I was on my way to Amsterdam. And this time I made it! Although it wasn't without issue!! Three quarters of my suitcase was drugs/needles/sharps boxes/dressings. And my hand luggage was more drugs/letters and my wig (Wiggy came for its first ever outing just incase I couldn't get through passport control!). So an interview at passport control later and I was allowed to fly! Apparently baldies get questioned more (we're special!!)! Ant came and met me for the first day/night, great time sightseeing, and then when It was time for him to leave.... Anxiety/nerves/no confidence set in once again, and I dreaded it. I was scared. I was nervous. And I just wanted to be in my safe space and go home. A year without getting out and about by myself had paid its toll. But I stayed, and what a fab ten days I had!! Met some incredible people out there who've become great friends, heard stories that will last me a lifetime, and made some fantastic memories. Amsterdam was a blast! I flew back for a day in the middle of the trip for the Venus National Awards, was a very long day, but nice to be back in UK if only for a few hours! So I got back, worked for a few days and then headed straight Upto Edinburgh (another flight!) for Born To Move instructors course, so I can teach little ones to do fun exercise routines! Again another long few days, feeling very isolated, but I got through it and then back to the rock I returned.... Three whole weeks without a hospital, doctor, canulla, or anything in sight or earshot.... Bliss!! The day after I got home... The hospital phone! So back to it I went.... Heart echo on the monday. As my heart had been damaged through the Herceptin drug, they stopped it temporarily to try and make sure all my levels came back to normal. So this scan would see and check to make sure I was ok to go back on to the drugs. Wednesday came and back to oncology for consultant appointment to follow up for rads and to see about the heart! Saw a different consultant today, as Dr Marshall was running so late! So I saw, Dr Fenton, and the only thing I could think when I was sat there was that dog Fenton on YouTube who's chased after by his owner!! However he was a nice bloke, and explained the next steps in treatment.... Finish Herceptin treatment with the help of heart medications, these meds are designed for heart failure, and will drop my blood pressure to put less pressure on my heart & allow it to try and remain in the normal bracket for certain levels. The issue being my left ventricular ejection fraction is currently at 38% instead of the normal 75%. Depending on how my heart then takes back to the Herceptin, the drugs may be temporary, they probably won't be! Reading about the drug, the side effects seem to outweigh the benefits i feel..... I may get gain, palpitations, dizziness, headaches, sickness, swelling of the tongue and throat, trouble breathing and a persistent cough..... All for the sake of being able to be jabbed in the leg every few weeks!! Oh and I guess maybe prevent Cancer coming back!!! So all good fun, and I swear im going to end up being a rattle!! So onto friday, and im back on the chemo suite, waiting to be jabbed! Having had 10 weeks without any stabbings, and 3 complete weeks without hospitals, the heart suddenly sunk with the reminder of the suite and the thought of another needle. Xxx
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February 2017
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