This week has been a very long week of morphine, the sofa, and feeling very very naff. Had a couple trips in, as potassium is non existent in me....again! Plus continued with the heart palpitations, dizziness, severe nosebleeds (the list continues....). However the sofa has treated me well and there's a light at the end of this 'naff week tunnel'!
Today I finally checked my post, having days not being able to do anything you kind of just let it build up on the side. It's been a no make up, no sleep, onesie, not caring kind of week so why bother with post! However on checking, my genetic results appointment letter was there and it was for today! Bit of a shock, complete whirlwind of emotions ran quickly through me.... Did I still want to know, was it going to confirm the higher stats of reoccurance, was it really going to affect my family too..... Lots of keeping my spirits high by the brother and mother, calling me Donnatello.... If ive got to be a mutant, I may as well be a kick ass ninja one! So I rocked up (on time for once!) and an hour and half of waiting later, I got very impatient!! No receptionist to ask about the delay, no one knew which room the geneticist even was in! On finding the room I proceeded to bang on the door to express my frustration and anger, with the thought of screw this ive had enough I want to go back to my sofa. However she clearly had no idea that I was due for an appointment (cock up by the hospital appointment person!) and was very apologetic. Hulk rage Tori slowly diminished! Eventually she got my results through and called me in. Im not a MUTANT!!! Best news since finding out the tumour had shrunk a bit, being called normal!! My genes are not mutated BRCA 1 or 2 so I do not carry the fault for Breast and ovarian cancer!! So first off my family arn't now bludgeoned into also having this life roulette to live by, full hysterectomy won't need to be done, and a small hope and fingers crossed based on reimaging at the end of chemo surgery won't be as major as what was originally thought. Massive weight lifted today. Although it would be great to know the reason why I ended up with Cancer in the first place, that's going to be one question forever unanswered. But im not a mutant!! Plus surgery is now looking like it will be single mastectomy not double, which mentally is a lot more acceptable/doable! Still got a massive road ahead in terms of ups, downs, ifs, whys and wherefores, stats and recurrence rates to fathom out but this result is good result! Small steps. Plus me and the brother now have two fancy dress duos to dress up as.... Uncle Fester & Lurch, and Donnatello & Raphael!! And if you don't know who the last two are.... Never speak to me again!! Now back to the sofa to collapse and die/rest quietly for another few morphine filled days! This Uncle fester Donnatello will continue to smile Xxx
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February 2017
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